We Need More Daves

To say I am confused with how our government spends its money is an understatement.

Every year our Congress and President attempt to determine how to fund the myriad programs and salaries needed to run the Federal Government. Our national debt now being in the trillions of dollars, we operate in a deficit thanks to both parties running the show in Washington.

I ask your forbearance as I ramble on about a few things.

As part of a cost cutting measure it has been announced that the IRS will no longer be mailing paper forms and instructions to households beginning in 2011. Those who do not file electronically can still find the needed forms online or at participating libraries and post offices. This will save the Government $10 million dollars in printing and mailing costs per annum. Every little bit helps, right? On the other hand, Congress is currently looking at approving a program that will enact legislation on the nutritional value standards for school lunches. The estimated cost of the program: $4.5 Billion.

We will cut $10 million on something that affects every working person in America but consider spending billions to tell schools what they can or cannot serve in their lunchrooms?

For the second year in a row Disabled Veterans and Social Security recipients will not receive a Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA) of even a miniscule 1% increase because the money is simply not there. Yet Lawmakers are still considering the federally financed program providing up to 73 additional weeks of jobless benefits to people whose 26 weeks of state benefits have run out.

Helping those who are out of work is indeed a worthwhile proposition. However what about giving some small consideration to those who are now permanently impaired while protecting our citizens or who have paid into our national workers "insurance" plan with every paycheck?

All this is going on while our partisan leadership draws lines in the sand about the Bush-era tax cuts that are set to expire on December 31, 2010. Unless some of these august elected officials stop being playground bullies, pull their heads out of their collected backsides and start learning the art of compromise the American public will be paying for their antics with increased tax debt.

At times I wonder how all this could be played out in a movie. How would Hollywood portray it? Have you ever seen the movie Dave? Made in 1993 it is a movie about a man (Dave Kovic) who is hired to impersonate the president for a couple of hours one evening. Due to a series of events, Dave is put into a position to act as the President on a day to day basis.

In one scene, Dave wants to put a new program into the annual budget, but cannot raise any more money to do it. He must find a way to add it none the less. Here is how that scene is played out.

"Before we get started I'd like to go over the budget. I've found some ways to put back the homeless section of the Works Bill.

Mr. President, I don't believe that's on your agenda today.

No, it's a last minute change, Bob.

Now, the way I see it, we need $ million in order to keep the project. Some of this can be done through some simple changes in our cash management. For example according to the OMB, we've got defense contractors who are delinquent in their contracts. Is this true?

I believe so.

Even though they're late, we keep paying them on time?

Well, in a sense.

Okay, now instead of paying them for something they haven't finished we could hold back that cash, put it in an interest-bearing--

Mr. President?

---

Never mind. Like I was saying, if we took that cash and stuck it in a savings account we'd be making $ million a month in interest.

Well, technically, that's true, but...

Okay, so that's $ million times 12 months. Good.

Unfortunately, money management only gets us halfway to our goal. In order to get the rest of the money, we'll have to make some tough choices.

The Commerce Department.

Yes, Mr. President?

We're spending $ million on an ad campaign to boost consumer confidence in the American auto industry.

It's designed to bolster individual confidence in a previous domestic automotive purchase.

We're spending $ million for somebody to feel good about a car they bought?

I wouldn't categorize it that way.

I'm sure that's important, but I don't want to tell an eight-year-old kid he's gotta sleep in the street because we want people to feel better about their car. Do you want to tell him that?

No sir. No, I sure don't.

Well then, that's another $ million.

So this is good. Real good. We're on our way. (more Cabinet members are queried soto voce)

Let me just add that to the tally here.

That'll be plus ---

Five, carry the one ---

--- makes $ million ---

--- which means we can keep the program.

-Thank you, sir.

-Thank you for your help."

One of my favorite lines in the movie comes when Dave asks his friend Murray to come to the White House and help him with the budget. Murray, being a CPA, takes one look at it and asks:

"Who does these books? If I ran my office this way, I'd be out of business." (truer words were never spoken!)

Oh in this case if Hollywood fantasy could actually become reality. *sigh*