The Art of the Tease

Flirting is an art. Some say one that has been lost to the annals of time. It isn't about pick-up lines, which is a mistake many make. Those are blatant and in your face. No, flirting is subtle: a light playful teasing remark. Flirting is the yin to pick-up lines' yang. If done well, the recipient is left smiling and feeling on top of the world. Purrrrrrrrrrrr.



Why is it so difficult to master: because for some flirting does not come naturally. For others it is because they think they lack the ability to learn. Anyone can become a flirt, if they work at it. I am not talking about a woman who bats her eyelashes, tosses her hair, wiggles her butt and uses her body language to entice. While nice that kind of leaves men out of it. Although I'm sure there are guys who could pull it off, we are talking about the art of wordplay.

There are a few things you will need to know before you get started though.

There are four stages to flirting; otherwise known as the 4 S's.

1. Beginner Stage - Shy flirting: Usually the first teasing encounter between two people, the shy flirt is more of a feeling out; seeing how the other reacts and if any kind of advancement will be appreciated. Example: You always seem to make things better. Seeing you walk in the door was like having the sun shine on a cloudy day. AWW FACTOR: 2 OUT OF 5

2. Intermediate Stage - Silly flirting: If you've tried being shy and know you aren't going to get your head handed to you on a silver platter, you can now move up to silly. This one is especially good for the opposite sex when you don't have serious intentions in mind and your personality drifts to the saucy rebuttals. Girlfriends do it to each other all the time. Example: Look at you! In that outfit you could blind the sun with how pretty you are. Let me grab my sunglasses! AWW FACTOR: 3 OUT OF 5

3. Advanced Stage - Sentiment flirting: Also known as the compliment. These are the ones that show you have been paying attention and actually know something about the person. This one can be used by both sexes and doesn't have to have any intentions behind it either. Most often used between those we feel most comfortable with, the sentiment flirt is usually applied when the recipient least expects it and/or is having a tough time. Example: Have I ever told you how much having you around brightens my day? Whenever I'm down and feeling like the clouds over my head will never leave, you come along and shoo them away, just by being you. AWW FACTOR: 4 OUT OF 5

4. Master Stage - Sensuous flirting: Once you have practiced (and practiced long and hard) on the three previous ways you can try your hand at this one. Obviously by the title, you only use this one toward someone you have serious interest in or are already in a relationship with. Since flirting is NOT blatant, coming up to a person and saying "Hey sexy, my place or yours" is not going to fly. Sorry, you need to learn a little more finesse. This is where having a good grasp of words can work to your advantage. Euphemisms are a must. If you aren't getting the recipient looking for a fan to cool themselves down, you haven't succeeded. Example: Whenever I think of you, my heart begins to beat a tattoo against my chest. Imagining you slinking evocatively through the door with that come-hither look in your eyes turns my legs soft, like melting butter. Your smile radiates throughout the room, and my body warms from it. You aren't just the sun pushing away the grayness of my life; you are the sunbeams that shatter them by your mere presence. Or even: Baby, I cannot shake the urge of wanting to kiss you. To move aside your hair, lean in and lightly kiss your neck. As my comfort builds, so will my kiss until I am sensuously devouring every inch of your beautiful neck. From there I wish to move my lips up your chin, along your cheeks and eventually settle upon those luscious lips of yours. AWW FACTOR: 5 OUT OF 5

While these examples aren't by any means perfect, you get the idea. The next time someone comes along that has an impact on you let them know with a tease. It may just brighten their day.

Now, off with you. Go forth and flirt!

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See more of Grace's skewed look at life on her personal blog.