I Admit It - I Have An Addiction
Posted: Sunday, August 22, 2010
by Grace O'Malley
I have an addiction. It is not something I am proud of. In fact you could say that my obsession has affected my life to such a degree that an intervention may be needed. They say that admitting a problem is the first step in getting help. If so, here goes.
My name is Grace. I am a sarcastic person. It has always been quite empowering for me to use my witticisms as a quick retort in any situation I find myself. The by-product of this is that now I have become so inured to this habit I cannot seem to break it! It crops up at the most inopportune times. More and more often I find myself having a running dialogue in my head while someone else is speaking. Occasionally, against my better judgment, the words in my head spew out of my mouth. It is becoming embarrassing!
sarcasm
noun
1. harsh or bitter derision or irony.
2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark.
Origin:
from the Greek: to rend (flesh)
The other night my husband and I were have a serious discussion. It was no time for levity. Yet every time he spoke I wanted to come back with a smart aleck comment. I am a compassionate person. I do not purposely say or do things to injure someone's pride or feelings. I go out of my way to understand the emotions and trials of my fellow human beings. Yet those gibing words will not stop! It was amazing how difficult it was to not let them out.
As arduous as it is to admit, I have become a sarcasm junky. This monkey on my back is addictive. It does not matter the time or place, when it needs feeding I must succumb. What once was satisfied by a zing here or there has now become almost a frenzied necessity. Case in point: Not long ago our family gathered together to attend a memorial service for my beloved grandmother. It is a somewhat solemn time even though she loved to laugh and crack jokes. While two of my aunts were bemoaning fate I responded with a comment of my own. I will not convey what it was due to acute embarrassment. Suffice to say I became the topic of conversation around many households that evening: and probably for many evenings in the future.
I don't know if my sarcasm has turned into a defense mechanism when I feel put on the spot or if I am truly a horrific person. Either way I need help! Is there a 12 step program for this kind of thing? Is there a center that specializes in aiding sardonic persons such as myself?
Then again maybe I should just give in to my current muse. I could start my own stand up act. From that could grow a possible show on Comedy Central. And if I try very, very hard and work diligently, I may end up becoming * GASP*, President & CEO of the National Sarcasm Society!
Daddy always wanted us kids to be the best we can be. Hmmmm.
My name is Grace. I am a sarcastic person. It has always been quite empowering for me to use my witticisms as a quick retort in any situation I find myself. The by-product of this is that now I have become so inured to this habit I cannot seem to break it! It crops up at the most inopportune times. More and more often I find myself having a running dialogue in my head while someone else is speaking. Occasionally, against my better judgment, the words in my head spew out of my mouth. It is becoming embarrassing!
noun
1. harsh or bitter derision or irony.
2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark.
Origin:
from the Greek: to rend (flesh)
The other night my husband and I were have a serious discussion. It was no time for levity. Yet every time he spoke I wanted to come back with a smart aleck comment. I am a compassionate person. I do not purposely say or do things to injure someone's pride or feelings. I go out of my way to understand the emotions and trials of my fellow human beings. Yet those gibing words will not stop! It was amazing how difficult it was to not let them out.
As arduous as it is to admit, I have become a sarcasm junky. This monkey on my back is addictive. It does not matter the time or place, when it needs feeding I must succumb. What once was satisfied by a zing here or there has now become almost a frenzied necessity. Case in point: Not long ago our family gathered together to attend a memorial service for my beloved grandmother. It is a somewhat solemn time even though she loved to laugh and crack jokes. While two of my aunts were bemoaning fate I responded with a comment of my own. I will not convey what it was due to acute embarrassment. Suffice to say I became the topic of conversation around many households that evening: and probably for many evenings in the future.
I don't know if my sarcasm has turned into a defense mechanism when I feel put on the spot or if I am truly a horrific person. Either way I need help! Is there a 12 step program for this kind of thing? Is there a center that specializes in aiding sardonic persons such as myself?
Then again maybe I should just give in to my current muse. I could start my own stand up act. From that could grow a possible show on Comedy Central. And if I try very, very hard and work diligently, I may end up becoming * GASP*, President & CEO of the National Sarcasm Society!
Daddy always wanted us kids to be the best we can be. Hmmmm.
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Somehow I knew you and I were similar. If you become President, can I be VP?
Cute article Grace. I think sarcasm serves comics very well. :) Thanks for joining my fan club.Thank you Joyce. I'm always interested in reading what others have to say.Grace
Grandma was smiling and understood even though others were aghast.Her own lifelong sense of humor should have prevailed at the funeral as a testimony to her life, not solemnity .One can hone that biting wit sarcasm into a very funny standup comedic stance with just a little self editing practice; it's NOT a vice or an addiction but a heavenly gift.Wit betrays raw intelligence and it's something that most people simply do not have or understand; many kudos to you!PaulI knew grandma wouldn't mind my actions. I learned at her feet after all.Thanks for the kudos!Grace
Ms.Grace, you may not be the best that you can be, yet, but for the rest of our sakes I sure hope your not far from it. You so totally stand out in a crowd now, that if you get much better nobody may realize that the rest of us are even around. I must say though, that I am honored just to reside in your shadow. Thank you, and keep up the good work.You sir stand in no one's shadow. We all learn something new by reading what you have to say and are better for it. Thank you for your comment and support David.Grace
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