Things Life Has Taught Me - Or How I Managed to Live 40+ Years and Still Not Be Incarcerated
Posted: Thursday, August 19, 2010
by Grace O'Malley
A few months ago I had read a piece about "Things My Mother Taught Me". You know that oft emailed list of 20 things that makes you nod your head and remember those wonderful little axioms moms like to spit out? I began to muse about that recently. I also remembered Maria Shriver having written a book titled "Ten Things I wish I'd Known Before I Went Out into the Real World". That title was almost as long as the book. However the two of these came to mind and I thought it was time to write a list of my own. I may not be as smart as mom (good grief, who is?) or as talented as Ms. Shriver-Schwarzenegger, but hopefully I can impart some bits of wisdom of my own. Maybe
Therefore, I give you the Grace's list of
THINGS LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME
"or how I managed to live 40+ years and still not be incarcerated"
Life is not always greener on the other side. Sometimes people use spray paint to cover up all the crabgrass that grows on their end. Don't want what other's have. Appreciate what you have and quit worrying about what you do not. If you are able to wake up today, you are one step ahead of those who cannnot.
Being a social liberal and fiscal conservative is not an oxymoron. It is possible to be both. You just have to be creative.
When life gives you lemons, screw the lemonade. Throw the suckers back.
Do not be a victim of your own success. Adulation is great, but you are not any better than Joe Schmo at the local car wash. You just have sycophantic groupies telling you otherwise.
The higher up the ladder you go, the farther you can fall. And people will make sure to remind you of that once you are lying on the ground, flat on your back.
Everyone has a talent. Some are just hidden and need prodding to come out. But that does not mean pooping green and taking a photo of it is really art. Try flushing that particular one instead.
Sometimes being the squeaky wheel does not mean people will listen. It can just mean you need to learn volume control.
Rap is not music. Music is like pornography and the Supreme Court: I cannot define it, but I know what it is when I hear it.
You are not going to please everybody, so don't even try. However, if you want to displease everyone, do what makes you happy.
Spandex is a privilege, not a right.
Aspirations are a good thing. Aspiring to look like the next candidate for Hooker of the Year? Not so much.
Saying no does not make you mean. It makes you smart. Unless someone offers you a million dollars, tax free, and you say it.
(Fill in the blank)-ism is just another way of saying narrow-minded. Taking off the blinders of ignorance opens up a whole new world, ready for exploration.
Death and taxes are no longer the only two things certain in life. Have an opinion on sex, religion or politics and you are certain to hear how wrong you are.
Life is not like a box of chocolates: it is not sweet, gooey and luscious. It is more like an artichoke: tough getting started, needs something added to make it easier to swallow and worth the effort in the end.
Abuse, of any kind, is intolerable. Become a member of P.E.T.A.H. (People for the Ethical Treatment of ALL Humans)
Children are precious: even the horrid ones. Love and cherish them with all that you have. They will give it back, 100 times over.
Life is not fair. Love will hurt, jobs will be lost, you will not get everything you want and not everyone will like you. To bad. Quit whining, grow a set and move on.
Laughter IS the best medicine. It's free, easy to take and never loses its potency.
That's it for now. I hope you enjoyed. Before I go, I want to leave you with these immortal words by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons and sung so beautifully by Nat King Cole:
THINGS LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME
"or how I managed to live 40+ years and still not be incarcerated"
Life is not always greener on the other side. Sometimes people use spray paint to cover up all the crabgrass that grows on their end. Don't want what other's have. Appreciate what you have and quit worrying about what you do not. If you are able to wake up today, you are one step ahead of those who cannnot.
Being a social liberal and fiscal conservative is not an oxymoron. It is possible to be both. You just have to be creative.
When life gives you lemons, screw the lemonade. Throw the suckers back.
Do not be a victim of your own success. Adulation is great, but you are not any better than Joe Schmo at the local car wash. You just have sycophantic groupies telling you otherwise.
The higher up the ladder you go, the farther you can fall. And people will make sure to remind you of that once you are lying on the ground, flat on your back.
Everyone has a talent. Some are just hidden and need prodding to come out. But that does not mean pooping green and taking a photo of it is really art. Try flushing that particular one instead.
Sometimes being the squeaky wheel does not mean people will listen. It can just mean you need to learn volume control.
Rap is not music. Music is like pornography and the Supreme Court: I cannot define it, but I know what it is when I hear it.
You are not going to please everybody, so don't even try. However, if you want to displease everyone, do what makes you happy.
Spandex is a privilege, not a right.
Aspirations are a good thing. Aspiring to look like the next candidate for Hooker of the Year? Not so much.
Saying no does not make you mean. It makes you smart. Unless someone offers you a million dollars, tax free, and you say it.
(Fill in the blank)-ism is just another way of saying narrow-minded. Taking off the blinders of ignorance opens up a whole new world, ready for exploration.
Death and taxes are no longer the only two things certain in life. Have an opinion on sex, religion or politics and you are certain to hear how wrong you are.
Life is not like a box of chocolates: it is not sweet, gooey and luscious. It is more like an artichoke: tough getting started, needs something added to make it easier to swallow and worth the effort in the end.
Abuse, of any kind, is intolerable. Become a member of P.E.T.A.H. (People for the Ethical Treatment of ALL Humans)
Children are precious: even the horrid ones. Love and cherish them with all that you have. They will give it back, 100 times over.
Life is not fair. Love will hurt, jobs will be lost, you will not get everything you want and not everyone will like you. To bad. Quit whining, grow a set and move on.
Laughter IS the best medicine. It's free, easy to take and never loses its potency.
That's it for now. I hope you enjoyed. Before I go, I want to leave you with these immortal words by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons and sung so beautifully by Nat King Cole:
"Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile, and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through, for you.
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you. Just. Smile."
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More commentsLove the title! And your list is great. A few made me nod knowlly and a few made me laugh out loud. This would make a great poster!Thanks Brenda! I'm glad you got a laugh out if it. Spread the smiles.Grace
"You are not going to please everybody, so don't even try. However, if you want to displease everyone, do what makes you happy."Hi Grace. Thank you for writing this inspirational piece. I enjoyed reading this specially the "Smile" song. Well done.All the best,NenitaHi Nenita! Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a nice comment. Hope you left with a smile.Grace
Great article Grace! It's clear from this piece that you still have a lot to learn. It's even clearer that I have much more than you to learn. That's ok though, it scares me to think of the day that I have no more to learn, because that will be the day that they're shoveling dirt over this poor, old, tired, worn out body. Not lookin' forward to that day! lol Oh, there is a lot of good rap music, sometimes you got to look over the crap rap to get to the good. Had to find that out the hard way. Good day.I'm thinking I should do one of these every ten years. Like you I hope to continue to learn until that shoveling starts. I'll take your word about the rap music.Grace
Very interesting list you have there. The one I most agree with is laughter is the best medicine.And it never goes out of style! Thank you for commenting Linda.Grace
Great job here. I especially like the one about rap music, which has always been an oxymoron to me (like military intelligence or jumbo shrimp).Thanks for the compliment Michael. Must appreciated.Grace
I'm reading this for a second time in the Reader's Club, but happy to rate it again!Awww, thanks Brianna! You're a sweetie.Grace
Fresh, refreshing, enjoy your humor as always! Good job lady!Thank you most kindly ma'am.Grace
Other than the hit on rap music, I agree.You understand rap music? You need to explain it then. I'm hopeless with it.Grace
Grace, you have become one of my favorite authors on SearchWarp. I love your wit and look on life. Thanks for another great read!*blushes and scuffs toe on ground* Shucks Lorrie, thank you so much for that!Grace
Wow...wow...wow...It was so so so inspiring my sister.It's a great article. And the poem is lovely. You don't know how this article can change many negative mind-sets of the readers. I don't know ''Ms. Shriver-Schwarzenegger'' but Lorrie was right in choosing you one of her favorite author to which I agree 100%.One Last Compliment: Your name and your smile matches a lot. Just Graceful...God bless you and keep inspiring...I'm honored to be told I have inspired someone. You have made my day, thank you.Grace
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