Time To Say Goodbye

Dear Anxiety,

You and I have been together for what seems like forever. For the longest time I considered you part of my family. You helped define who I am and how I treated people. When everyone else left me, you stayed by me: loyal, dedicated and unwavering. How do I tell you that I have moved on and do not want you around any longer.

Yes, you and I have memories: lots and lots of memories. When I was the fat kid in my teens you made sure to remind me that you were there for me. After I worked so hard to lose the weight and started dating you came along on the journey telling me how to act, who to trust and what to do. I listened to you and ended up marrying "him" and see where that got me? Okay, I'll grant you pardon for that debacle as it brought A into my life and having her was worth all the pain. Until she died. That is when your tentacle arms really began to settle around me. When no one allowed me the time to grieve and mourn, you made sure to be there at my darkest hour. For months you never left my side.

When I finally unfurled my mantle of despair, I shook you off too. You were patient though, knowing I would be back. You were waiting in the wings for me to falter, knowing I would. You could be there to gather up the pieces of my life and put them into perspective. And once I again I listened to you.

I had gotten so used to you being there, day in day out that I forgot what it was like to live without you. When I met P, it shocked you. You did not know how to react. Here was someone who could take your place if I let him and you did not like it. So what did you do? You showed up more often. You made your presence known in no uncertain terms taunting him with your power over me. Time and time again you wound your way around me, keeping me from truly letting him take over in my life instead of you.

Well guess what? I grew very fond of R and all that he brings into my life. If you do not like it, there is the door. Don't let it hit you in the backside when you leave. Oh heck, let it not only hit you, I'll escort you to the door myself!

Take note, you are no longer welcome in our lives. With R's help, I have moved on from you. No more will I allow you to dictate how I live my life. If you think to change my mind on this, just remember one thing: That man I am married to has had enough of you too. He has yet to show how strong he really is and we do not need the world having another pissed off Irishman in our midst. Nuff said? Are you getting the picture?

So forthwith I give you notice to cease and desist. Action WILL be taken against you. It is time for you to move on to bigger and better things with someone else. Our time is dead and gone.

I wish I could say I will miss you. After all the problems you have caused though, I am certain I will not mourn your leaving one bit.

Give my best to your cousin Despair. I will not be seeing her any longer either.

Sincerely (and with out love),

Grace